留学生实用英语 08Alex 博士带你学英语
诉苦和安慰朋友必会的 30 个地道表达
Advice to a friend
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本课学 30 个诉苦和安慰朋友时最常用的地道表达。场景是：Pat 工作、合租、感情样样不顺，打电话给最好的朋友 Katie 诉苦；Katie 泡上一壶茶，帮她一件一件理清楚。
上班族，老板处处挑她的刺，合租的两个室友一点家务都不干，男朋友 Brad 又突然说想要自己的空间，于是找好朋友诉苦。
Pat 最好的朋友，温柔冷静，泡上一壶茶听她倒苦水，再帮她列清单、定计划。
Hi, Katie—I'm calling you to cry on your shoulder. Do you mind if I come over? I really need to talk to you.
嗨，Katie，我打电话是想找你诉诉苦。我能去你那儿吗？我真的很需要跟你聊聊。
Of course I don't mind; come over. I'll make a pot of tea. Pat, what's the matter?
当然可以，过来吧。我泡壶茶。Pat，出什么事了？
It's just that everything is wrong with my life. In the first place, there are so many problems at work. My boss is really out to get me. He's on my case for every little thing. Lately I can't do anything that pleases him. Plus, he makes me so nervous that I'm beginning to make unnecessary mistakes.
就是我的生活一团糟。首先，工作上问题一大堆。我老板简直是存心跟我过不去，芝麻大的事他都要挑我的刺。最近我做什么都没法让他满意。而且他弄得我特别紧张，我都开始犯一些不该犯的错了。
So, what's the reason for all that?
那他为什么会这样？
It's probably because he has problems at home. But that doesn't give him the right to take it all out on me, does it?
可能是因为他家里有问题吧。可这也不是他把气全撒在我身上的理由，对吧？
It's just the opposite. It's at work where he ought to seek a little peace so he can work out his personal problems at home. At least that's what I think.
正好相反。他应该在工作中找点清静，好回家去解决自己的私事。至少我是这么想的。
I have the impression that nobody is really happy. The situation at my house doesn't exactly cheer me up either. You know what? Those two guys I share the house with don't have a clue about how to keep it clean. They don't lift a finger to help me. Last night I spent two hours cleaning the kitchen while they pigged out on pizza and watched TV. I'm sick and tired of their behavior.
我感觉好像没有一个人是真正开心的。家里的情况也让我开心不起来。你知道吗？跟我合租的那两个家伙根本不知道怎么保持房子干净，一根手指头都不肯动来帮我。昨晚我花了两个小时打扫厨房，他们却在那儿狂吃披萨、看电视。我真是受够他们了。
But that's not the worst! As if that weren't enough, Brad refuses to talk to me. Like out of the blue he's decided he wants his space. I really feel like throwing in the towel.
可这还不是最糟的！好像这些还不够似的，Brad 也不理我了，突然就说他想要自己的空间。我真想放弃算了。
Calm down, Pat, and let's look at one thing at a time. I don't think things are as bad as they seem right now. For a start, why don't we make a list of the positive things in your life? That way, you'll realize what your strengths are. Then we'll make a plan to begin changing the things that aren't working for you. You shouldn't let yourself get depressed.
冷静点，Pat，我们一件一件来看。我觉得事情没有现在看起来这么糟。首先，我们把你生活里好的方面列个清单吧？这样你就会发现自己的长处在哪儿。然后我们再定个计划，开始改变那些不顺的事。你可别让自己消沉下去。
Thanks, Katie. You know, I already feel much better. You really know how to cheer me up.
谢谢你，Katie。你知道吗，我已经感觉好多了。你真会让我开心。
I care about you. After all, you are my best friend—and have been from the get-go. I know I can count on you for good advice from time to time.
我在乎你呀。毕竟你是我最好的朋友，从一开始就是。我知道我有时候也能指望你给我出好主意。
Tap ▶ to hear a line. Green phrases are this lesson's expressions — tap one to jump to its explanation.点 ▶ 听这句原声；绿色的是本课要学的表达，点一下可以跳到它的讲解。
想说服别人时，用它引出第一个理由：“首先……”。后面常用 Plus、Besides、As if that weren't enough 一条一条往下摆理由。
原句In the first place, there are so many problems at work. — Pat
提计划时引出第一步：“首先、第一步先……”。也可以说 for starters 或 to begin with。和 In the first place 区分：那个是摆理由，这个是提建议。
原句For a start, why don't we make a list of the positive things in your life? — Katie
都用来追加理由：“而且、再说”。plus 好事坏事都能用，很口语；in addition 用在正面的理由里；besides 用在负面或为自己辩解的理由里。
原句Plus, he makes me so nervous that I'm beginning to make unnecessary mistakes. — Pat
一口气列了好几条理由之后，引出最后、通常也是最夸张的一条：“这还不算完……”“更过分的是……”。
原句As if that weren't enough, Brad refuses to talk to me. — Pat
一是“至少”（数量，可能更多）；二是在坏消息之后找点安慰：“好在……、起码……”。对话里 At least that's what I think. 是“至少我是这么想的”，让语气不那么绝对。
原句At least that's what I think. — Katie
引出理由，为刚说的话作解释：“毕竟……”。
原句After all, you are my best friend—and have been from the get-go. — Katie
字面是“趴在某人肩上哭”，意思是找人倾诉、求安慰：“找你诉诉苦”。
原句Hi, Katie—I'm calling you to cry on your shoulder. — Pat
matter 作动词是“要紧、重要”，It doesn't matter. 就是“没关系”；What's the matter? 是关心地问“怎么了？出什么事了？”
原句I'll make a pot of tea. Pat, what's the matter? — Katie
用来反驳：事实和对方说的完全不一样，“恰恰相反”。
原句It's just the opposite. — Katie
一心想找某人麻烦、整某人：“存心跟我过不去”。
原句My boss is really out to get me. — Pat
不停地批评、数落某人：“老盯着我挑刺”。
原句He's on my case for every little thing. — Pat
因为别的事憋了一肚子火，却冲着不相干的人发泄：“拿某人出气”。
原句But that doesn't give him the right to take it all out on me, does it? — Pat
work out 有三个常用意思：解决（问题）；（事情）进展顺利、行得通；健身锻炼。
原句so he can work out his personal problems at home. — Katie
clue 是“线索”。not have a clue 就是一点头绪都没有：“完全不知道、根本不懂”。
原句Those two guys I share the house with don't have a clue about how to keep it clean. — Pat
连一根手指头都不动：什么忙都不帮，什么活都不干。
原句They don't lift a finger to help me. — Pat
像猪一样吃：吃得太多、大吃特吃。pig out on + 食物。
原句while they pigged out on pizza and watched TV. — Pat
be sick and tired of + 名词 / 动词 -ing：再也忍不了了，“受够了”。
原句I'm sick and tired of their behavior. — Pat
像晴天霹雳一样，毫无预兆地发生：“突然、冷不丁地”。
原句Like out of the blue he's decided he wants his space. — Pat
说“我需要自己的空间”，其实是委婉地表示想结束恋爱关系。
原句Like out of the blue he's decided he wants his space. — Pat
来自拳击：教练把毛巾扔上台表示认输。意思是不再努力、放弃，也可以说 give up。
原句I really feel like throwing in the towel. — Pat
work for someone 一是“给某人工作”；二是（方法、安排）“对某人管用、适合某人”。the things that aren't working for you 就是“你生活里那些不顺的事”。
原句Then we'll make a plan to begin changing the things that aren't working for you. — Katie
让心情不好的人高兴起来：“逗某人开心、给某人打气”。
原句You really know how to cheer me up. — Pat
count on someone：需要时能指望某人。也可以说 depend on、rely on。be there for someone 是“随时支持某人、有需要就在”。
原句I know I can count on you for good advice from time to time. — Katie
征求对方同意：“我……你介意吗？”注意回答：同意要说 No, of course not.（不介意）；不同意才说 Actually, I do.（其实我介意）。
原句Do you mind if I come over? I really need to talk to you. — Pat
Let's… 提议大家一起做，否定是 Let's not…；Why don't you…? 建议对方做，Why don't we…? 建议大家一起做。
原句Calm down, Pat, and let's look at one thing at a time. — Katie
strengths 是一个人的长处、优点；短处、缺点叫 weaknesses。面试常问 What are your strengths and weaknesses?
原句That way, you'll realize what your strengths are. — Katie
so many = 那么多；so + 形容词 = 非常（so nervous 紧张得要命）；句首的 So 引出或追问结论：“那……”“所以……”。
原句So, what's the reason for all that? — Katie
not exactly 放在形容词或名词前面，意思是“一点也不、根本不是”，是一种含蓄的说法；hardly 也是这个意思。
原句The situation at my house doesn't exactly cheer me up either. — Pat
口语说法，“从一开始就……”，= from the beginning。
原句After all, you are my best friend—and have been from the get-go. — Katie
“有时、偶尔”。同义说法还有 (every) once in a while、(every) now and then、every so often、occasionally，可以放在句首或句末。
原句I know I can count on you for good advice from time to time. — Katie
Pick an answer and you'll see right away whether it's right.点选一个答案，马上就能看到对错。
Choose a suitable response for each line. Some lines have more than one good response.给每句话选一个合适的回应。有的句子不止一个合适的回应。
Answer truthfully in a full sentence, using expressions from this lesson.按你自己的真实情况，用本课的表达写一句完整的回答。
Write a suitable question or remark for each answer, using expressions from this lesson.用本课的表达，给每个回答写一个合适的问句或前一句话。
For each expression on the left, choose the phrase closest in meaning.给左边的表达选一个意思相近的说法。
spend + 时间 + 动词 -ing；feel like、be sick and tired of 后面接动词 -ing；Do you mind if I、Why don't we、let yourself 后面接动词原形。
A friend wants to cry on your shoulder. Write your conversation, using at least 8 expressions from this lesson.朋友想找你诉苦。用本课至少 8 个表达，写一段你们的对话。
Lin: Hi, Emma. Do you mind if I come over? I really need to cry on your shoulder.
Emma: Of course not. What's the matter?
Lin: In the first place, my roommate doesn't lift a finger to clean. Plus, my supervisor is always on my case. And as if that weren't enough, my laptop died out of the blue last night!
Emma: Calm down. Let's look at one thing at a time. For a start, why don't you talk to your roommate about a cleaning schedule?
Lin: Good idea. I'm sick and tired of doing all the dishes.
Emma: And you can borrow my old laptop. After all, that's what friends are for.
Lin: Thanks, Emma. You really know how to cheer me up. I knew I could count on you.
这一课的 29 个表达，按「中文的意思用英语怎么说」整理，点开看答案和例句。
In the first place首先（摆出第一个理由）
想说服别人时，用它引出第一个理由：“首先……”。后面常用 Plus、Besides、As if that weren't enough 一条一条往下摆理由。
例句：I don't want to live in the southern part of the county. In the first place, the schools are not very good there.我不想住在县南边。首先，那儿的学校不怎么好。
plus / in addition / besides而且；此外；再说
都用来追加理由：“而且、再说”。plus 好事坏事都能用，很口语；in addition 用在正面的理由里；besides 用在负面或为自己辩解的理由里。
例句：I loved that movie. It was a western; Clint Eastwood was in it; plus, it lasted three hours.我太爱那部电影了。是西部片，有 Clint Eastwood 演，而且足足三个小时。
As if that weren't enough好像这还不够似的；更过分的是
一口气列了好几条理由之后，引出最后、通常也是最夸张的一条：“这还不算完……”“更过分的是……”。
例句：It was a terrible date. He arrived late. He was rude to my parents. And as if that weren't enough, he was in a bad mood the whole evening.那次约会糟透了。他迟到了，对我父母很没礼貌。更过分的是，他一整晚都在闹脾气。
at least至少；起码；好在
一是“至少”（数量，可能更多）；二是在坏消息之后找点安慰：“好在……、起码……”。对话里 At least that's what I think. 是“至少我是这么想的”，让语气不那么绝对。
例句：He has at least three cars!他至少有三辆车！
after all毕竟
引出理由，为刚说的话作解释：“毕竟……”。
例句：Don't expect him to behave like an adult. After all, he's only ten years old.别指望他像大人一样懂事。毕竟他才十岁。
cry on someone's shoulder找某人诉苦
字面是“趴在某人肩上哭”，意思是找人倾诉、求安慰：“找你诉诉苦”。
例句：I just got fired from my job. Will you let me cry on your shoulder tonight?我刚被炒鱿鱼了。今晚能找你诉诉苦吗？
What's the matter?怎么了？出什么事了？
matter 作动词是“要紧、重要”，It doesn't matter. 就是“没关系”；What's the matter? 是关心地问“怎么了？出什么事了？”
例句：You really matter to me a lot.你对我真的很重要。
It's just the opposite.正好相反
用来反驳：事实和对方说的完全不一样，“恰恰相反”。
例句：You must be really excited about your promotion! It's just the opposite! They're transferring me to another city, and I don't want to go.你升职了一定很激动吧！——正好相反！他们要把我调到别的城市，我根本不想去。
be out to get someone存心跟某人过不去
一心想找某人麻烦、整某人：“存心跟我过不去”。
例句：The president of the club refused to listen to any of our suggestions. I think he is really out to get us.俱乐部主席我们的建议一条都不听。我看他是存心跟我们过不去。
be on someone's case老挑某人的刺
不停地批评、数落某人：“老盯着我挑刺”。
例句：My dad's always on my case about my long hair. He really wants me to cut it.我爸老因为我的长头发数落我。他特别想让我剪掉。
take it (all) out on someone拿某人撒气
因为别的事憋了一肚子火，却冲着不相干的人发泄：“拿某人出气”。
例句：I know you're disappointed that you didn't get better grades at school, but don't take it out on your little sister!我知道你没考好很失望，可别拿你妹妹撒气！
work out解决；进展顺利；健身
work out 有三个常用意思：解决（问题）；（事情）进展顺利、行得通；健身锻炼。
例句：We're not going to get married until we can work out our problems.我们要先把问题解决了再结婚。
not have a clue一无所知；完全不懂
clue 是“线索”。not have a clue 就是一点头绪都没有：“完全不知道、根本不懂”。
例句：Do you think Ray has any acting talent? To be honest with you, I don't think he has a clue about what he's supposed to be doing.你觉得 Ray 有表演天赋吗？——说实话，我觉得他根本不知道自己该干什么。
not lift a finger一点忙都不帮
连一根手指头都不动：什么忙都不帮，什么活都不干。
例句：She is so spoiled. She doesn't lift a finger to help her parents with the housework.她被宠坏了。家务活一点都不帮爸妈干。
pig out狂吃；胡吃海塞
像猪一样吃：吃得太多、大吃特吃。pig out on + 食物。
例句：Oh, I really pigged out on that cake. It was so delicious.哦，那个蛋糕我吃得太多了。实在太好吃了。
sick and tired of受够了；烦透了
be sick and tired of + 名词 / 动词 -ing：再也忍不了了，“受够了”。
例句：He's been here pigging out all week. I'm sick and tired of his behavior.他在这儿胡吃海塞一整个星期了。我真受够他了。
out of the blue突然；毫无征兆地
像晴天霹雳一样，毫无预兆地发生：“突然、冷不丁地”。
例句：So I'm driving down the turnpike when out of the blue I get a call from Freddie!我正在高速上开车呢，突然接到了 Freddie 的电话！
want one's space想要自己的空间（委婉地提分手）
说“我需要自己的空间”，其实是委婉地表示想结束恋爱关系。
例句：Elizabeth, we've been arguing a lot lately, and I'm getting uncomfortable with it. I really feel like I want my space for a while, so I can think things over.Elizabeth，我们最近吵得太多了，我很不舒服。我真的想要一段时间自己的空间，好好想一想。
throw in the towel认输；放弃
来自拳击：教练把毛巾扔上台表示认输。意思是不再努力、放弃，也可以说 give up。
例句：Hey, Niko, how are your tennis lessons going? Oh, I threw in the towel a couple of months ago. I just didn't have enough time to practice.嘿，Niko，网球课上得怎么样？——哦，我几个月前就放弃了。实在没时间练。
work for someone适合某人；对某人管用
work for someone 一是“给某人工作”；二是（方法、安排）“对某人管用、适合某人”。the things that aren't working for you 就是“你生活里那些不顺的事”。
例句：I'm still going to school, but I'm working for my dad this summer.我还在上学，不过这个暑假在给我爸打工。
cheer someone up让某人开心起来
让心情不好的人高兴起来：“逗某人开心、给某人打气”。
例句：She was feeling lonely, so we went over and cheered her up.她觉得孤单，我们就过去陪她，让她开心起来。
count on指望；依靠
count on someone：需要时能指望某人。也可以说 depend on、rely on。be there for someone 是“随时支持某人、有需要就在”。
例句：We can always count on Bob to make us laugh.我们总能指望 Bob 逗我们笑。
Do you mind if…?你介意我……吗？
征求对方同意：“我……你介意吗？”注意回答：同意要说 No, of course not.（不介意）；不同意才说 Actually, I do.（其实我介意）。
例句：Do you mind if I sit here? No, of course not.我坐这儿你介意吗？——当然不介意。
Let's… / Why don't…?我们……吧 / 何不……？（提建议）
Let's… 提议大家一起做，否定是 Let's not…；Why don't you…? 建议对方做，Why don't we…? 建议大家一起做。
例句：Let's eat Chinese tonight.我们今晚吃中餐吧。
strengths长处；优点
strengths 是一个人的长处、优点；短处、缺点叫 weaknesses。面试常问 What are your strengths and weaknesses?
例句：Often in a job interview, they ask you what your strengths and weaknesses are.求职面试时，他们常问你有什么优点和缺点。
so这么多；非常；那么……
so many = 那么多；so + 形容词 = 非常（so nervous 紧张得要命）；句首的 So 引出或追问结论：“那……”“所以……”。
例句：She has so many friends on Facebook, she can't keep in touch with them all.她在 Facebook 上朋友多得很，根本联系不过来。
not exactly / hardly一点也不；根本不
not exactly 放在形容词或名词前面，意思是“一点也不、根本不是”，是一种含蓄的说法；hardly 也是这个意思。
例句：She's not exactly shy.她可一点都不害羞。
from the get-go从一开始
口语说法，“从一开始就……”，= from the beginning。
例句：He has been enthusiastic about this project from the get-go.他从一开始就对这个项目很热心。
from time to time有时；偶尔
“有时、偶尔”。同义说法还有 (every) once in a while、(every) now and then、every so often、occasionally，可以放在句首或句末。
例句：I'm not still in love with him, but I think of him from time to time.我已经不爱他了，不过偶尔还会想起他。
